1.
I remember the sad words & how they
Must have hung themselves to the sound
Of water running—a single voice poised
Against the clay shadows of plants
& the sound of positive reinforcement
Being played like a flute after
I’d given up already, mumbling No biggie!
As if my life wasn’t already a bathtub
Full of jokes & soap suds “just ironic enough”
It was like a stranger’s face or a bad Halloween mask
Had melted on the radiator & I couldn’t look away
It was like saying it simply wasn’t making it
More complicated than it was
Like it wasn’t making it more complicated
To begin with & taking codeine for my gout
& walking back to my truck silently
My lungs burned like trees determined
To set themselves right, I was getting at the meaning
Of a small window glaring in the snow
& thinking about strolling thru
The apple orchard naked with aplomb
I half died from these feelings that came
Over me & as the furnace pilot ignited
It was like a cold weight had been lifted
2.
I’ve been waiting for the equinox
For what seems like forever now
& I’ve paid for more minutes so
I can talk on my cell phone 1 hour
But I only know silence—
A clump of glinting red bicycles
Sitting idle against the “familiar”
The prattling 21st C. spewed
Back at the street where this guy
Is a stick & I’m frozen like a hat
In the ice & like a shadow in
The time lapse of my own stillness
It is this pointlessness I see as
A map to somewhere better
It’s this flawless X-ray of something
Broken inside me that’s got me
Staring up at the zenith—at each
Slow moving cold front dropping
Down here from Canada—my face
Deadened in the used up light
& unless someone reaches out
& touches me I’m going to flat line
In wet socks—I’m never going to
Move again in warm pants