red juice sliding over a thumb / & no sign
telling us we can’t eat / so we eat
til bees slip past / all of us giddy
rocked in red / winged with sugar 

Adam holds up a branch / I let the red
fall & fall / into me / like surf 

four months left / before I
                                                         leave / beg
                                                         what I love / to stay.


already, the branch / slumps
curvy with red / and Adam
talks about / lunar cycles
silver bracelets / Catherine’s
Taiwanese grandma / regal
in her praise / of Adam’s hair
I want to press / my bold head
to the ground / scoop up
berry after berry / then lose
count / tell the dirt to
remember me / & these
hands / which prayed
in the dark / after tasting
berries stuck / to its snout.


we fill the plastic jugs / tied
to our waists / & drive past
stalks of corn / that remind me
of my crush’s shoulders / tall
& generous & lean / I am
surprised at how / it takes me
years to forget / the way my
father called, once / said
you are very amazing / while at
home my mother / boiled
ears of yellow corn / which
we ate / sitting down / hot
& wordless / with wonder. 


driving home / with Adam
raspberries / in the backseat
I am reminded of 
what I’ll leave behind:

                             magnets on a fridge
                             & white stems
                             & the same silver pan
                             I washed / for years
                             before learning / it came
                             from my mother’s mother. 

                             & here, when I thought I knew
                             every thing / so eager to leave— 

                             the metallic touch / of
                             these women / pulled
                             some muscle / in me
                             spun my chest / red
                             new longing for / hands
                             & dirt / cool walks / rice 

                             here go / constant surprises 
                             even in a space / I thought I owned. 


the truth is / I want to leave
but I don’t want to leave
& I know nothing / & every thing, still
praise today / berry juice / a friend / the time 

on we go / the bushes laced / with bees
while the days roll by
magnificent / shiny / strong 

at the curb I tell Adam / goodbye
& I love all I love / with my wide
open mouth / I bite down
bite down / & keep biting
I don’t / spit any of it / out.