to not be a spectacle and now the midwife has me opened up on the table and asks your father if he’d like to see my cervix and while I’m not sure I would mind, I just don’t know him well enough yet, but no one asks me before he says yeah crosses the room and bends down to my vagina without ever meeting my eyes. My body is only my body a moment before he’s in it, then you’re in it, then you’re out of it and napping and he’s telling me breast milk is actually very sweet but here’s the thing —I didn’t even realize I had leaked into his mouth.