I assumed the first step in disintegration
was to exist but a goldfinch
in the supermarket rafters was all it took
to upend me. Truthfully, I understand
very little about the world. Certainly not
the harmonics of the heating vent,
least of all the wind, what makes it go
cold fronts, jet streams. It would make more sense
if there was just one wind, a big one, rattling
back and forth, more drawn to some textures
than others. Really, these are just trillings
into the great peat bog, thin places
for you to pierce, dowsing rods for a pulse.
My neighbor jogs each morning in ankle weights
and each morning I am shocked. My disbelief
at known outcomes, these chronic
chirps of joy—it’s this particular cleft of bewilderment
and beauty that makes it
so difficult to live and to stop.
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