Bodega | The Problem Is I Have a Problem

focusing on the destination,

turning one way
then the other,
turning and turning

back, losing the antecedents before
I find the descendants,

as far as the destination is concerned
nothing’s keeping it where it is,

not as far as I can see.

The problem is
I have a problem focusing

on everything that’s happening,

and every time it happens,

and the time after that,
I often think I need to concentrate

when I’m already thinking about something else,

lifting my head
and letting it drop down,
like a kind of call and response,

have you noticed the way there’s often more to say
about something that’s less interesting?

Putting in my earbuds
and listening to Smashing
Pumpkins’ Destination Unknown,

humming with my mouth closed,

as for the destination
it’s not staying in the same place

as far as I can see,

like a map that’s not even unfolded
in the first place,

it’s a problem when the antecedents disappear

before the descendants
start to arrive,

it’s not a problem that’s improving for instance,

one problem is
I take my problems with me

as long as I’m focusing,

like a sensitive load I can’t put down,

when I don’t know
where I’m going
I tell myself I’m somewhere else

to see if I’m wrong,

the problem is I’m almost always wrong.

The Problem Is I Have a Problem