Bodega | SOP

We all traveled distances for his Crunchwrap Supremes. We flew from every crumb-covered crevice of America because he was a classically trained chef and ran his Taco Bell accordingly. They say that the beauty of a chain restaurant is that it’s the same wherever you are, but those who say this surely don’t mean his Taco Bell: His Taco Bell is a Cantina. His Taco Bell’s excess hot sauce sachets stack neatly on the corner table. His Taco Bell streams Baja Blast as crisp as electricity, as blue as the South Pacific. His Taco Bell dispenses the good ice; that smooth, pebbled ice. His Taco Bell uses paper straws that turn to mush and people love it. His Taco Bell’s warm overhead lighting makes sour cream at two in the morning feel sensual. His Taco Bell teeters on the sea-sprayed cliffs of Monterey, where diners eat their chalupas al-fresco and rave about the views. His Taco Bell’s employees show respect, say YES, CHEF and NO, CHEF and BEHIND! His Taco Bell earned him a GQ write-up, ranked number three on a list of “Top 50 Queer Chefs to Watch Out For.” His Taco Bell’s Yelp rating is only 2.4 stars, because though the food is well-seasoned and the dining room scrubbed-raw and the ocean views breath-taking, it is not a normal Taco Bell, and the beauty of a chain is its consistency.

147 – May 2025

By Jess Gallerie

SOP