I am going to build you an island and you are going to love it.

I am going to carve your face into a mountain.

I am going to buy you a present. It is a cat

and you are going to love it

or it will die and that will be all your fault

and you’ll feel terrible

and feeling terrible is really inconvenient. When you feel terrible

the bandits come and they live in your closet and at night

while you sleep they shoot you in the face and set your children on fire

and then they cut the skin off of everything you ever loved

and they nail it to your door in the shape of your sadness.