I walked right up to her and said Hello,
I am a bank robber and this is a robbery
so please give me all the piles of money
in easy to carry bags. If you don’t
I’ll shoot you, and if you make a fuss
I’ll shoot you in the face,
and if you call the cops
then I’ll shoot your entire body so full of bullets
that all of your blood will flee your body
like orphans fleeing from an orphanage
that is burning to the ground
and the orphans are screaming because they are on fire
and then they too burn to the ground
right there, in front of the TV cameras.
If you’d like we could talk about our childhoods:
what the orphanage was like, how it looked
on fire, caved in, with the lights off
at sunset. We could go out for a cheeseburger
and pretend none of this ever happened,
and I could tell you a story
about a handsome man
who meets a beautiful woman
at a bank. In her spare time
she falls deliriously in love with him
and they start a family together
and soon they have five hundred children
who all die in a flood. The handsome man
tells the beautiful woman
that everything will be ok. He tells her
that they loved their children very much
and that even though all of their children are now dead
that doesn’t change their love. He tells her
she should really put all that money in bags
and then hand him those bags. Right now.
He says In two days you’ll find me
hiding in your bathroom
with a gun. He says I will tell you that your husband
is beginning to suspect something
and you will tell me that I am your husband
and immediately this will become true.